Archive for March 2012

home work? at a time like this?

Guys, Bill Cosby is going to be in Rexburg Idaho.
i hope you all understand how great this is.
i almost wet my pants when i first read it.
in fact i had to read it twice because i thought that i read it wrong the first time.
its ok. i know you dont believe me.
you can come too.

here's to being the dirty kids in class.(you know the one im talking about)
the one who obviously just rolled out of bed, (but i did do my scriptures and meditation so im not totally that kid. ) almost forgot to brush their teeth, didnt run a brush through their hair, wearing the same shirt they slept in and would have worn yoga pants to 7:30 class if it wasnt taboo in her own mind. embrace it. its that last week of school.

but why

i want to know why my nights are so different than every one else
why when i wake up, my mattress is always a foot away from the wall
why when i fall asleep with out sock monkey under my arm, i wake up with him there.
why cereal taste so much better at 3:30 in the morning than it does at 9:00
why i sleep better with five pillows than i do with one
why some nights, i dont get any sleep
why some nights i get too much
why my foot has to stick out from under the blanket in order to be comfortable
why the air out side is different than it is during the day
why things seem more magical in the darkness
why, why, why.

oh man.
what can be better than a hot cup of tea and the last few pages of my book?
well, lots of things actually. but this is pretty great.

i cant stop laughing at this and i dont know why. (ask my roommate. she has to hear me laugh about it every few minutes)

cool story brah

this morning when i left the house in my tee shirt and sandals it was sunny.
when i left work it was windy, rain/snow, and really cold.
well played rexburg. fooled me.
i didnt even have a sweater of any type.

i avoid the school library at all costs.
sometimes its a lack of options that drives me there.
in the 15 minutes i was in the library today,
i heard a conversation between four guys and each of them said
"cool story brah!" and least twice.
i dont get it.

i went to get blood work done today.
as the needle is in my arm, the nurse says "i cant get it to work..."
and then she continued to move the needle around.
and then gave up and stuck my other arm.
the first arm wouldnt stop bleeding.
so i couldnt figure out why she asked if i wanted a band aid.
i thought at that point it had become a necessity to have a band aid.
i hate seeing my own blood. so i was basically ready to pass out.
on top of the fasting-all-day-for-the-blood-work-wanting to pass out.

oh yeah. and today i pulled out my soy milk and for some reason
i saw the expiration date (after i poured it of course)
it said 2/25/12
and i thought
COOL! this expires on my birthday!
my birthday is 4/25
and the milk is a month past its date.

cool story brah!

here's to:
the first sun burn of the season
allergies so bad your head feels like its going to explode(but worth it)
bike rides to sugar city
the reading of books in secret parks
finishing up the last  powerpoint slide of the semester

Infinite Worlds Of Maybe.

today i bought a book called Infinite Worlds of Maybe

the tittle alone caught my attention, but then when i read the back and it said 
"For every situation there are two realms of possibility: Columbus did/did not discover America; the North/South won the Civil War. That is the intriguing premise of this highly unusual adventure by one of the most distinguished authors of science fiction. "
i knew i had to have this book.
and fifty cents later, its mine.
Apparently most people read this book in middle school?
(according to good reads)
where was i?

not last nights dinner.

Last night i made dinner,
sat down to eat it.
took a few bites.
got distracted.
This morning i went in the kitchen
for my morning tea
and my dinner was right where i left it.

100 best first lines

while browsing the inter web i found "100 Best Lines From Novels"
some i agree with as being "best", a few i do not.

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." - Charles Dickens, David Copperfield (1850)

"There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it." - C. S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (1952)

"Of all the things that drive men to sea, the most common disaster, I've come to learn, is women". - Charles Johnson, Middle Passage (1990)


some nights, i stay up cashing in all of my bad luck and
failed dreams.
some nights, i brake all of the rules.
the rules i made, and the rules 'they' made.
because some times, i have to ask why? 
or rather, why not?
some nights, i wake up and see your ghost.
some nights, i leave things for the black and white to settle
because gray is an achromatic.
some nights, your ghost is like a martyr in my bed.
asking for my sympathy and attention.
some nights,
i just dont know what im waiting for,
what we're waiting for.

have you ever plugged your headphones into your computer
sitting in the library
in a quite spot
you pull up itunes
blare Otis Redding
for your own listening enjoyment.
but you just cant get it loud enough
so you turn it up.
and then a mousy haired girl taps you on the shoulder
asks you to turn your music down.
shes really nice about it.
and then you realize the head phones werent plugged in.
do you get embarrassed over the fact that it happened or
the fact that you were blaring Otis Redding?
answer: neither.

to pants or not to pants

lately i do NOT want to wear pants.
i've been spending more time in my robe than any person should. 
(or maybe we should all spend more time in our robes. whats the hurry to put pants on anyways?)
lots of shorts around the house.
anything but pants.
maybe this is my way of telling rexburg that i am ready for spring.
i am ready to not wear pants.

Eagle Street

um, check her out. her name is annie novak and she has the most amazing garden on her roof in the city

its kind of a funny story.

"Run. Eat. Drink...Ride your bike. Ride in the subway. Talk. Talk to people. Read. Read maps. Make maps. Make art. Talk about your art. Sell your art... Celebrate. Have a party. Write a thank you note to someone. Hug your mom. Kiss your dad. Kiss your little sister...Drink coffee in little coffee-drinking places. Tell your story.Volunteer. Help people. Travel. Fly. Swim. Meet. Love. Dance. Win. Smile. Laugh. Run. Run. Run. Run home. Run home and enjoy. Enjoy. Take these verbs and enjoy them.They're yours. You deserve them because you chose them. You could have left them all behind but you chose to stay here.
So now live for real. Live. Live. Live. Live."
-its kind of a funny story

the first time i watched this movie i didnt really like it because it was not a funny story.
but i watched it again.
and i liked it.

my parents are in Hawaii.

and i am in rexburg.

i just watched this
its about John Muir.

he was a naturalist, writer and advocate of preservation of wilderness.
he particularly explored, wrote about, and saved the Sierra Nevada mountains of California.
you can also read a biographical essay on him here.
growing up we read about him, talked about him, had schools named after him;
i admire him.

nerd alert.

moms are the best.
especially talented ones
who knit you socks with love.
these puppies are so great.
and so is my momma.

(i work with a bunch if IT nerds.
one of my favorite things to do is say "nerd" almost in a whisper when they walk by.
i dont really even know what a nerd is.
or why its a bad thing.
i think knowing things and being smart is pretty cool.
but i havent been able to wear my glasses lately in fear that the joke would be turned towards me.
but i had to give in. my eyes were killing me.
and now, i am one of those nerds. what ever that means.)


a typical day in a college class in America.
we take our studies seriously here
photos courtesy of tim.

students laying on the floor.

Reading news papers during the discussion 

and lunch time in the middle of class!

i find it interesting/scary how much money people pay to be in school for a "piece of paper".
now granted, i am by no means a scholar.
i have  a really hard time sitting through class.
BUT i try.
i want to get all that i can out of class.
there is so much to know and discover!
we are so lucky to have the freedoms and the opportunity to go to school
its crazy to think how blessed we are
and what people in other countries do in order to even get a taste of education.
i would love to see some of these "students" try going to school in a place like China or something.
could make for a good reality show.
or check.

this is how i feel right now.

you can take me to india if you want
so that i can see these things with my own eyes,
in person.
i would really like that.
and i promise i ll be good.

spring is in the air.

Spring is in the air.
our bikes are up and running.
if only it would stop raining.
(sometimes, if you ride your bike really fast in the rain, it feels like youre going some where 
real important, real fast.
like in the movies.
its kind of a good feeling.
kind of.)
npr and sxsw are consuming my nights.
and east of eden is consuming my days.
my goal is to read the last 200 pages by monday...
realistic yes.
well, if i dont do all of the hundred 
other things i want/need to do.
also, secret adventure weekends have begun. 

story of my life

hi Aaron. we miss you.

if you listen real close shes talking to me.

Happy Birthday to this guy:

and 30 years of these two being together:

"And this I believe: that the free, exploring mind of the individual human is the most valuable thing in the world. And this I would fight for: the freedom of the mind to take any direction it wishes, undirected. And this I must fight against: any religion, or government which limits or destroys the individual. This is what I am and what I am about. I can understand why a system built on a pattern must try to destroy the free mind, for it is the one thing which can by inspection destroy such a system. Surely I can understand this, and I hate it and I will fight against it to preserve the one thing that separates us from the uncreative beasts. If the glory can be killed, we are lost."

i ate moldy toast today. partially on accident, partially thinking id be ok.
(and partially thinking that id got all the mold off) why waste? food is food.
today i grew up a little bit. i tucked my shirt in. i hate tucking my shirt in.
but i did it. and it lasted until noon when i realized i couldn't do it any more.
no, i didn't want to do it anymore. but its a start.
this may be morbid, but sometimes i make sure that my room is picked up and everything in its place before i leave home just in case i get in an accident
or die, i wont be embarrassed over the condition of my residence. optimistic fatalist?
maybe. Sometimes, i let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.
because i, i cant always put them in the right places. today i had a lot to say, 
but no words to say them. i never have the right words.
so instead i read a book. drank some peppermint tea and forgot about the things i wanted to say
but couldn't figure out how to say them.


tonight i inhale
Bach violin concerto
the newly electrified streets,
fine porcelain, bone meal-
all grist to my mill.

A frenzy of high notes
climbs the stairs
to an insomniac
crescendo. A month's
uneaten meals
are a penicillin farm
i have snow in my face.

'whatever is left,
however improbable,
must be the truth'
i was never myself
when we met,
absorbed like sugar
in damp lanes,

my head full of secrets
and empires,
the chill mathematics
of suicide chess
and corruption
i was a connoisseur,
a skeleton.

i felt you
when i worked late,
a shadow-boxer
ducking my punches,
a deep-water shoal
always escaping my net.

"They left the question laying there, walked mentally around it, stepped over it. Their words ignored it but their minds never left it. They wanted to talk about it and could not. "

watch as I try to consume everything
and internalize it.

no child left inside

Ive spent the majority of my semester writing a 28 page paper on Nature Deficit Disorder.

The term was coined by author Richard Louv in his book Last Child in the Woods in order to explain how our societal disconnect with nature is affecting today's children. Louv says we have entered a new era of suburban sprawl that restricts outdoor play, in conjunction with a plugged-in culture that draws kids indoors. But, as Louv presents in his book, the agrarian, nature-oriented existence hard-wired into human brains isn't quite ready for the overstimulating environment we've carved out for ourselves. Some children adapt. Those who don't develop the symptoms of NDD, which include attention problems, obesity, anxiety, and depression.


if you ever wondered what i look like after a really good nap, well thanks to rebecca wonder no more. i didnt know what was really going on until the last photo, if that wasnt obvious...

today i started 7 different things and finished 0.
not a very good record.
i realize that.
but sometimes youve got to take breaks.
7 breaks to be exact.
especially on sunday.
but i did get a very windy bike ride to sugar city in.
that was much needed.

ive been trying to understand the whole concept of day light savings.
in a way i feel like its just one more thing the government controls.

this blog is so beautiful. 
"I left my design job in New York In August and bought a VW van. Since then, I have put 19000 miles driving around the west, surfing and camping. These are some of my stories and photos."

i got caught.

Steinbeck got the best of me
and i got caught:

but at least i didnt drop the book this time.

killing me.

i don't know if Ive been at work too long and these aren't as entertaining in real life as they are in my trapped-in-a-small-room work life, but needless to saying i am dying:

I've been thinking.

i ve been thinking about future careers.
growing up i wanted to be a fire fighter.
but thats when i thought i had to be a teacher, police man, astronaut, or fire fighter.
i didnt know that i had other options.
since then ive wanted to be lots of things in my life.
but lately i want to be a Storm Chaser.
(the first time i typed that i typed stormtrooper.ive been trying to watch Star Wars with the Dudes lately and i guess its rubbing off on me. i guess i could be a stormtrooper too.)
growing up in California we never had really gnarly storms.
ive seen a few tiny, tiny, tiny tornado's, but nothing like this

i love that part of his title is
"extreme weather adventurer"
there is so much beauty in storms.
i will admit i am accident prone and probably wouldn't last very long.
but boy would it be great.

hair hair hair. yeah yeah yeah.

mom and dad,
remember when i used to have hair like this?

Remember when it was natural blonde?
Now you dont have to ask me what color my hair is every week when you call!
its back to its natural and its staying that way.
Swiss eyebrows, German hair.

here are just 4 of the colors its been in the past 6 weeks...

sometimes im wide awake at 4am and dont know why.


sometimes one is blessed with really great and talented roommates.
this is my case.
all of my roommates are really great and have amazing talents.
all of them. (this is a rare occurrence for me)
here is just an example of one of them.
i am in love with this photo.
it has "me" written all over it.
and to most it is prob just a photo of someones "stuff"
but thats my stuff,
there for this photo is so comforting to me.
and even if it wasnt my "stuff", i think i would still love it just as much.
it kind of goes along with the idea of home that i talked about in an earlier post.
what makes a place home, how they represent us as people in them, and why we need them.
the lighting, the subject mater, the fact that its film, everything about it i love.
shes the one who took it.

"You can boast about anything if it's all you have. Maybe the less you have, the more you are required to boast."

52 weeks.
52 books.
im now reading East of Eden.
i love reading the dedications in books.
here is part of the one in this book:
"Well, here's your box. Nearly everything I have is in it, and it is not full. Pain and excitement are in it, and feeling good or bad and evil thoughts and good thoughts- the pleasure of design and some despair and the indescribable joy of creation. And on top of these are all the gratitude and love I have for you. And still the box is not full."

i love the photograph of John Steinbeck on the back cover:

and its only noon

i had 3 birthday cake oreos for breakfast.
and acai tea.
thats is one of the joys of being an adult.
eating cookies for breakfast.
on the way to work i walked through 5 buildings to avoid the snow blowing in my face.
i listened to the whole Son House Father of the Delta Blues: The Complete 1965 Sessions

i read this talk, Journey to Higher Ground.

ive also worn all black three days in a row, and not on purpose.
sometimes these things just happen.
once you get me in a pair of comfortable black pants, its hard to get me out of them.

The Old Man and the Sea

i read The Old Man and The Sea at work today. i had a few hours and figured id handnt read it in awhile.

"Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the sea and were cheerful and undefeated."

"He no longer dreamed of storms, nor of women, nor of great occurrences, nor of great fish, nor fights, nor contests of strength, nor of his wife. He only dreamed of places now and of the lions on the beach. They played like young cats in the dusk and he loved them as he loved the boy."

"But the old man always thought of her as feminine and as something that gave or withheld great favors, and if she did wild or wicked things it was because she could not help them. The moon affects her as it does a woman, he thought."

lets go see this

also,  have you heard of American Pop? its a rotoscope animated film that follows a troubled but naturally talented family from the 1920's. i havent seen it. i just want to:

this must be the place

this is a short by Lost & Found Films for This Must be the Place TV. This Must be the Pace is a serious of short films that explore the idea of home; what makes them, how they represent us, why we need them etc. 
COFFER from thismustbetheplace on Vimeo.

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