this weekend i got made fun of for my neurosis about bad guys getting into my house.
and then we got home and found out that bad guys got into our house....

we had such an enjoyable weekend in idaho.
so many good conversations, friends, movies, music.
its was just what we needed,
a little break from smog lake city.

one of the nights we stayed up until 4am,
and we joked about my obsession about locking the "bad guys" out
and how i am sometimes too paranoid about that type of thing.
and how silly it all was.

when we got home sunday night the screens were off our windows
and jay was jumping out the window and walking towards me.
i cant even begin to explain all of the feelings and thoughts i had.

i didnt want to go in our house, but at the same time i wanted to go in so badly.
to walk in and not see things that we left there a few days before wasnt the worst part.
the worst part was knowing that some stranger went through all of our stuff
our closets, the office, our bed room...
he took what he wanted, and left the rest.

he even dumped out my laundry basket so that he could carry all of my jewelry out in it.
or thats what we're guessing since the laundry basket and jewelry were both gone.

i hate that he had to move the picture of the fresno temple
and our engagement photo
and my family photo
in order to get all of the jewelry off the dresser.

i dont like that i couldnt fall asleep last night because every little sound i heard scared me.
i dont like that i feel violated and exposed.
and i dont like that when i got off work early today, i was scared to go home.
so i didnt, until garrett was with me.
and i dont like that when i turn onto our street now,
my stomach drops and i feel like im going to throw up.

its a good thing things are just things.

p.s. garrett found a 7 hour video of dogs barking that i have seriously contemplated turning on every time we leave the house now. you can read his take on all of this and listen to the 7 hours of dogs barking here.