Realization #1. I like to organize things because it allows me to feel like i have some kind of control over some part of my life.
Realization #2. While working on my HUGE research paper I came across an article talking about "optimistic fatalist." These two words sum up my life.

disposed to take a favorable view of events or conditions and to expect the most favorable outcome.
Fatalist: the acceptance of all things and events as inevitable
Basically, I hope for good things to happen but I have learned to be accepting of the fact that good things don't tend to happen for me. And I'm not being a negative Nancy or any thing. I have just realized that. And it sounds depressing, i know, but Ive come to terms with it and really its not that bad. 
Realization #3. I love other peoples birthday's but hate my own. I feel as if there is too much pressure, or something.  i don't really know what it is. I think id just rather shower other people with attention than be showered.
Realization #4. speaking of shower, i didn't shower today. I am one of those people who has to shower in the morning or I just don't feel like my self the rest of the day. Today i was feeling a little risky, there fore i did not shower.
Realization #5. I just want to play all of the time. Usually I'm pretty good at prioritizing and figuring out when things need to get done and when i can play. But man, this semester i just want to play ALL of the time. Its getting kind of annoying.
Realization #6. My attention span is getting worse. I use to be able to put a movie on and sit down and enjoy it from begging to finish. Lately, i watch it for 10, maybe 15 mins and start looking for the next thing to do.
Realization #7. I'm going to miss my little brudder too much when he leaves for his mission. Though I only see him once or twice a week, those times are probably my favorite and most looked forward to times of my whole week.
Realization #8. I love old people, animals, and babies. For some reason, and as bad as this sounds, i view these 3 categories as being the same...
Realization #9. When i like some thing, I like it. For example. Joe's filling station. I don't know why i like it so much, but after not going for a few weeks and then going to day, i realize how much i like it. Another example Old Money. I have literally listened to this album every day for the last 3 weeks. It makes me feel so American. Its great.
Realization #10. I'm sensitive. I'm a big baby. I feel too much. so what. i guess its better to feel something than nothing at all?
Realization #11. I hate conforming. It drives me nuts.