this is going to sound really strange, i am aware.
i have been thinking a lot about feet.
all of the places that every ones feet go.
ive also been thinking a lot about something that Thoreau said
"Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads"
lately, my feet have been doing a lot of these two things:

have you ever sat through a commercial and when it was over you had no idea what they were trying to sell to you?
its kind of an odd feeling.
speaking of odd feelings,
i have this pair of sandals and when i take them off at the end of the day, it feels like i am still wearing them.
or the room i work in has a lot of fans because it has a lot of computers and things. so i hear fans all day. sometimes when i am at home, i can still hear fans.
or when im running on a tread mill and i get off, i dont know how to walk normal. like, how fast do i usually walk compared to how fast i am walking now?

one of my bestest(?) friends in the whole entire world is coming back to rexburg today i am so happy. sooooo happy. the timing couldnt be more perfect.

"know that my heart was too big for my body
so I let it go
and most days this world has thinned me to the point where I am just another cloud forgetting another flock of
swans
 but believe me when I tell you that my soul has managed to squeeze its self into such narrow
spaces.
 place your hand beneath your head when you sleep tonight 
and perhaps you will find it there making beauty as we sleep
as we dream 
as we turn over
when we turn over in the ground 
may the ghosts that we have asked answers of do the
turning kneading us into crumbs of light and into this thing love thing
called life. come into it!"

i climbed into bed at ten thirty last night.
i dont know who i was trying to fool.
certainty not myself
because my brain would not shut off.
(im trying out this thing where i go to bed before midnight and get up at 5:30 every day. im also doing no make up and no blow dryer for a month. yikes.)
there was no way i was going to fall asleep.
so i climbed to the top of the old church building
the one across the street from the park,
where the kids were throwing glow stick juices at eachother.
of course this was only after i hung out in the parking lot with a 44 0z (of h20, no soda this month either)
there is something about parking lots.
especially ones that hold memories
and really good memories at that.
summer is a time where wonderful things can happen to quite people.
there is something about summer that gives me courage.
the kind of courage that i dont have the rest of the year.
when i got home i sewed and listened to alvin youngblood hart until 4:48am
and i dont regret it.
not one bit.

I want to see this:


"Last May California announced plans to close one quarter of their 278 parks,
a devastating move that is intended to save the state a mere $22 million per year. The closure list includes thousands of acres of park land, recreation areas, wildlife reserves, and 50% of the state's historic parks. By July 2012 Californians will be bereft of 70 magnificent natural parks. The media has
done little to disclose the ongoing closures or emphasize their impact.

if you're feeling sad, dont skip out on work early and go to the animal shelter thinking that walking abandoned dogs will make you feel better.

have you heard of Senegal's Lake Retba? 
or as the French refer to it Lac Rose?
it is pinker than any milkshake. 
seriously.
experts say the lake gives off its pink hue because of cyanobacteria,
a harmless halophilic bacteria found in the water.
It also has a has a high salt content, so you can float effortlessly.

i have this thing i do
where when i hear a song being covered,
i HAVE to listen to the original and pick which one i like better.
(most often i like to original best. duh)
so last night when i heard Kimbra (who i have never heard of until last night)
cover Nina Simons Plain Gold Ring,
my mind instantly started playing the original.
original:


cover


and another cover by Grandfather Glen


i choose Grandfather Glen over Kimbra, and Nina over all of them.
also, heres to having a 113% the day after finals! holla. ( i promise im done talking about grades. promise.)

this morning when i left the house i had an 84% in
every
single
one
of my classes....
how does that even happen?
well, 4 hours later it changed.

last night i dreamt that i boiled pizza in grape soda and made lots of money off of it.

dreams can come true in the form of $6499:

if you are supposed to write a one page journal entry every day for class,
do it every day.
i just sat down to catch up and the last time i wrote was may 17th.
(today is July 12th in case you were confused. i sure was.)
i wonder what happened on may 17th,
that made me not want to write on may 18th.
hmm.
we went to Portland last weekend.
ive felt strange since.
it may have been the whirlwind of a trip
or hitting the deer and watching it fly, bounce, and skid to its death.
or it may have been the atmosphere at the slam.
or the fact that i was out of small town rexburg,
and in big town Portland.
where things are like, you know, the real world.
or it may be this really hot weather that i have been begging for.
and now, not sure why i did since my swimming options and free time are limited at the moment.
(which is the whole reason i wanted the hotness in the first place.)
but really,
its probably just the fact that its finals time again and i just want to play.
all. of the. time.
(Spell check is telling me that rexburg is spelt wrong and is asking if i meant
to spell ragbag. yes spell check, i think i did mean that.)
i think we need a 24 hour frozen yogurt place.
actually, no.
that was a bad idea.
12:49 am.
paper due at 5 am.
buh bye.

there aren't a lot of things i feel i need in life.
but i feel like i need this book.

thats exactly 4 months from today.

I am really good at a few things.
like staying up really late and getting up really early.
or reading novels for fun instead of my text books the week before finals.
or searching the internet for new knowledge instead of doing homework.
or falling asleep on the couch even though the living room is a lot hotter than my bed.
or getting way too excited over little things.
or watching 3 episodes of project runway in one sitting.
or day dreaming about RV's and the open road.
or worrying.
in fact i am so good at worrying,
that lately Ive been worrying that i am not worrying enough.
i know, i know.
sounds silly, but its true.

i woke up thinking that today was the fourth of july.
i was thoroughly disappointed when i realized it is not.
toady is not the fourth.

i like simplicity, but i tend to make things complicated.
"As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness."
-Henry David Thoreau

if you were confused before and didn't think i was serious about me getting married, this should confirm it for you.
this is real life.